Perception is relative to perspective. It's one of those things that have been known fact for ages, so I guess it shouldn't come as a big surprise to me. And technically, I suppose it doesn't. Still, it is amazing to me how much things can change and how simple they can become in the light of a new perspective.
When things change unexpectedly in a seemingly unfavourably direction I willingly admit that I am not the first to embrace it. Especially not at the moment. I'm told that it is a natural and understandable reaction to pressure and uncertainty… and both have been abundantly present these past few months (years?). It is probably bred from a need to feel in control and secure in my environment. A need to have something stable and predictable and constant. Not really an unfair wish at all.
However, it is a need that without doubt has spread further and wider than it should have been allowed. It took a shock to my system to realise it. I was so distraught and angry I blamed the world, Life, the Gods, Fate… anything and everything. It wasn't fair and I resented it. Hated it in fact. I haven't reacted like this since I was a teen-ager…. and that's an era of my life, which is growing evermore distant… (rather disturbingly fast, too actually).
But somewhere in the midst of winding up to a kick-ass tantrum I looked around me and caught a glimpse of a bunch of other things that prior to this had taken priority in the “fuss and worry” department. Bumps in the road that had the power to annoy, frustrate and even trouble me. And I realised that suddenly they didn't look all that impressive or imposing anymore.
I don't think my values changed. Or even my priorities. I think it was simply a matter of assessing more clearly the amount of power and influence I give to the various aspects of my life. I am good at what I do at school/professionally. I am heading in the right direction when it comes to securing my future and ability to support myself here. I am proud of the things I have achieved and the initiative I have taken and carried onto others. I am confident of who I am and my ability to handle myself. Those are not small or insignificant things. And though they are draining and frustrating at times, they do not require such an amount of concern, as I have been giving them. My strength and attention is needed elsewhere now. And of all the accomplishments I am seeking to achieve… this one I WILL NOT fail.
Everything is relative. Relative especially to perspective. And I should know that. Hopefully, now I do…
*raises glass* To the future and whatever challenges may come! Bring'em on…