By the fire

I got up early and went upstairs. There’s something about the house when it is completely still and the world outside is still shrouded in darkness. I don’t know what it is but somehow I breathe easier this way. Maybe it is the space and tranquillity, giving me time to reflect… maybe it is just the notion that for a time, I can listen to the world without having to search for its voice. It is right there… the only one… so soft and soothing… too easy to overhear in the hustle and bustle of the day.

I poked last night’s embers lazily cooling in the ashes. They still had spirit enough to flare with a bit of coaxing. So I fed them and just sat there… on the floor, cross-legged, staring into the slowly awakening flames. For a brief moment I revelled in the simple symbolism of life coming alive again right before my eyes. It somehow made it seem like there couldn’t possibly be any limits to what can be achieved. That’s something well-worth remembering.

Still, it led to thoughts of all that is ahead of me. Challenges to meet, battles to fight, experiences to embrace, hurdles to overcome. And that all too familiar voice of reason suggested that I do the responsible thing and go back to bed so I wouldn’t waste the day being tired and unfocused. I did contemplate it. Too many nights I’ve gone with too little rest lately. Just wanting to make the most of the last few days before school starts again, I guess. But the entire notion of sleep seemed so distant and unattractive in the light of just sitting there… listening… breathing. Besides, there will be plenty of time to be dutiful when I start school again in a few days, and chances like this to just linger here in this space will grow frustratingly few and far between. I needed this more. It was an easy decision to make.

Somehow, doing this gives dawn – the entire day, actually – such a potency in my mind. It makes me feel excited about all the many possibilities and opportunities. Too seldom do I actively carry that zest and energy into what I actually end up doing during the day. But that isn’t what it is about to me, anyway. It’s more just knowing, that it is there. Knowing that I can feel that way. Knowing I can be excited again about seeing the sun rise on a day that most likely will be too grey and cloudy to even reveal it when it happens… that’s something rather significant to me. To think with anticipation on all the choices I have, contemplating each in order to find just the right one for this day. Examining and cherishing the riches of my life as if were they secret treasures taken out in a moment of sacred solitude.

I love when things too often taken for granted or overlooked in everyday life suddenly stand out for what they are …a blessing of abundance. An abundance, which I wished to share with those whom more than any have ensured that I have it. My parents. Fresh rolls and bread still warm from the ovens of the bakery, the morning newspaper, freshly brewed coffee, table set and ready for when they rose. It gave them more time to relax and enjoy the morning as I had done hours before them. And it made us all smile and remember how lucky we are to have one another.

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By the fire

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