She closed her eyes and dispersed her thoughts as if were they the flock of crows she’d seen gathered in the fields earlier that day. It felt good to chase them off like that, and she was reminded of the times when she was younger, running on the beach to chase squawking seagulls from the shallows, watching them take to their wings and float on invisible currents of air until they found a new place to settle. Yes, this was very much the same thing. The same urge to force a new formation… a new perspective to appear. To claim and resettle.
Familiarity can be blinding. It was a lesson she should have taken to a long time ago if frequency of recurrence was anything to go by. Still, it was never too late. Not really. There was always a new slate. Always a new choice. Whether or not it be the one desired or not. There is no such thing as loss without gain, or gain without loss. Keep wiping until there’s something to work with… then … make it work.
Thoughts gone. Crows and seagulls gone. The wide expanse was her’s alone again. Unquestioned. Unchallenged. The question was what she wanted to do with it now. Suddenly the possibilities seemed endless, ripe with energy and good intentions. It could be dangerous grounds, she knew. It’s all too easy to be intoxicated by that sense of freedom and raw potential. Temptation is an erratic flame. And a bad companion to familiarity. She had to remember that this time.
Slowly, her thoughts ceased their agitated flight, coming back to settle. Not all of them would be allowed to remain. Not all of them would she be capable of holding onto. It was okay though, she was ready for that. Ready to risk, to gain and to lose… and most importantly to put it all at stake, again. Winner takes the pot. Loser starts again. She could live with those odds. In fact, they suited her just fine.