It's okay if you don't fix the world…

“Life is challenge”

Someone once told me that, and explained how it isn’t about achieving things, as much as it is about facing them. Problems do not exist to be solved, but to be faced – the solution leads only to the next hurdle, and achieving it only serves to inspire and motivate in us a WANT to take on more.

At the time I admit I thought it a rather glum and depressing view on the magnificence of Life and Living. A narrowminded and somewhat simplistic attempt at equating hamster wheels and the human condition. And up until recently I don’t mind saying that I have retained that view, and defended it quite vigorously when confronted. After all, why focus on the conflict of the challenge, instead of the guts and glory of persevering and overcoming against the odds!?

The simple answer is… Because, sometimes that isn’t enough. It’s not enough to know that things will be okay eventually when you’re out of steam NOW. That’s the answer he gave me back then… which I blatantly dismissed and have kept dismissing until now, when I am finally faced with something myself that just isn’t worth the crap it is causing.

And then what… ? Saying that something isn’t worth it doesn’t make it go away. Neither does giving up on it. No matter what option you choose… whether to lie down, sob and sulk and cuss life out for being an unfair b**** … or stand up and roar into the wind in furious defiance… or say “sod it all” and run for the hills… life goes on and there’s still choices to be made and consequences to be faced. Tomorrow is still another day and still has to be deal with. Regardless. Inescapably. Annoyingly persistant.

Life is challenge.

So, having realised all this… realised how futile it is to attempt to outrun a problem because it just creates another, I suddenly understood the value of having someone who can just sit by me and let me cry, without trying to fix it for me. Someone with enough compassion to pity me for faltering under the challenges to let me be hurt and frightened and deflated, without feeling like they need to “make it better”.

Do you have any idea how rare it is to find someone in whose embrace you can hide without being told that it will all get better soon?

Life sucks sometimes, and the world is stupid. That’s what I think. And not having to feel guilty or emasculated was such a reprieve. I just needed a break from the storm, a place to bitch and moan about it a bit… and still have it be my own problem afterwards to fix, deal with or run from as I chose – without it getting hijacked by the “it’ll be alright”-crowds.

The world can’t be fixed because it isn’t broken.

I don’t want reassurances or promises that can’t be kept. I just want to be a little mad and think that life is stupid without you going around trying to fix it all the time.

Please!?

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It's okay if you don't fix the world…

4 thoughts on “It's okay if you don't fix the world…

  1. Scattered Rayn says:

    @whirlwind

    You’r emost welcome – and thank you! I hadn’t thought about it that way… as voicing out what others might not say. I know it can be a touchy subject. I’ve already been scolded for saying it by someone who took it to be rejection and lack of appreciation on my part, rather than what it really was. So, I am really grateful to hear that others CAN and DO find something of value in it… that really means a lot to me.

    I am so glad it is getting easier with your friend. Good intentions can somes be more of a hinderance, it seems 😉

  2. Oh absolutely! Misunderstanding on my part, and thank you for clearing it up. I have been dealing with similar problems with a friend and now I get what he means when he voices his thoughts and am slowly learning not to say anything at all, but just listen. Be the ear and shoulder he needs.

    Thank you for voicing out things others are too afraid to admit! 🙂

  3. Scattered Rayn says:

    @whirlwind

    Hey you! Thanks for the comment and wise words. And NO!! I do not want to kick or yell at what you’re saying. Because I don’t disagree with you. I didn’t write this post because I do not believe. I didn’t write it because I think life and the world suck and will never get better.

    I have this innate belief and trust in the roller coaster ride that is life… that what goes down must also inevitably come back up. Like a cork held under water. So, when I say “don’t fix the world” during one of those low-lying banking curves… I mean “I don’t need to be told it’s going to be okay again. I KNOW it will be and don’t doubt it”.

    I think it is just about needing to be heard when I say I am unhappy or stressed or discontent. About voicing my dissatisfaction, fears or exhaustion so that *I* know I am not afraid to talk about them. That I recognise and acknowledge them – and my own limitations – instead of just closing my eyes, ears and heart and pretending that everything is peachy.

    For me it is crucial to be allowed to react to life as it is… and to be taken serious when I do. I myself am in favour of taking that hearty positive outlook on life – of holding onto the knowledge that things WILL be okay and work out, one way or another…. “everything happens for a reason”, has pretty much been the back bone of my grip on life since I was a young teen. And perhaps that is exactly why I don’t want others to attempt to fix things… or tell me that all will be okay. I just want to know I have been heard.

    Does that make sense??

  4. I used to think and be like that. And then the world got way too stupid and life sucked and sucked, till optimism and false hope in ‘it will get better soon’ and ‘hang in there, the worst is over’ phrases actually did start helping at some point, despite not wanting to hear or believe those words. Of course, being able to just be, and not be told anything, good or bad, didnt feel that bad either but that can’t last for too long can it?

    I am now proud to say I dish out those exact sentiments, and similar, to myself and those around me. I am hated and called a dreamer and told to come out of my little bubble and into the real world, but it phases me no more. Because, cliche’d as it sounds, it does get better.

    Agreed, it isn’t enough to know things will be ok when your out of steam now, but it is better than not knowing or wanting to believe at all. Even if you’re out of steam, you will get up eventually and move on. If you start ignoring and shunning the positive words, it may not end up being the best decision made in a funk.

    I know you probably want to kick me for telling you the exact words you are refusing to hear/read, as did I not too long ago, but turns out, they were exactly what I needed despite saying otherwise.
    You were only given this life because you are strong enough to live it! 🙂

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